Establishing your signature dance style is the fun part. But for various reasons it may also be panic inducing.
As with any major event in your life, you will want to look your best…but many people are unable to settle on exactly what that means for them.
For some, the focus will be on getting an outfit that expresses their inner glamazon! For others, just finding something that makes them feel less bulky or ungainly will be a number 1 priority. Some girls may find that they have almost no say in how they look because they are overwhelmed by the opinions of their family and friends…and this is not going to result in anything positive!
In my opinion, there are some very simple suggestions, which I have outlined below, for finding the magical formula that will bring out your best.
To begin…ask yourself this famous existential question from a new angle.
Who am I?
The main reason that most girls get so wound up about the dance is because deep down inside (and often bubbling on the surface too) there is this overwhelming desire to make that “‘one lasting impression” on those that you have been slogging through school with for all these years. As if the way you come across on this single night will suddenly absolve you of all the ridiculous things you did through the years, make all the boys that just ignored you regret their folly and miraculously break the mould in which you were cast for 12 long years.
Essentially, this thought pattern is a recipe for disaster! This kind of pie in the sky thinking just leads to unnecessary perfectionism, high levels of stress and dangerous strain on the budget.
Again…ask yourself “”Who am I?”‘ and really mean it this time.
If you find the answer to be that you are a chilled out, nature loving hippy chick…why on earth would you go to your dance in a skin tight crystal encrusted gown?
If you are a book adoring, demure and reserved young lady…keep it that way! Now is not the time to try out the sexy diva look.
We all know the old adage! It’s not what you wear, but how you wear it! Wearing something that resonates deep to the core of your being is the best possible way to feel comfortable and look amazing at the same time.
Should I throw in a little Hamlet too? “To thine own self be true”‘
Yes, I’m talking to YOU!
Once you have worked out who you really are, it may be time to establish a little distance between your true self and the opinions of others.
And by that I mean the well meaning advice from mom and sis, the voices in your head that say you should compare to every starlet on the the screen and very dangerous territory…the best friend’s advice.
A basic understanding of the mechanics of the human condition are quite important here. Following your inner guide, your own inner voice, is very important.
Other people, no matter how well meaning, can only ever give you their perspective on your life. This will be tainted by their experiences and fears.
Stick to the facts when taking advice from others. If you are told you cannot expose your arms because of rules in your religion…that is a fact. If your dad says that perhaps you choose a simpler style dress because the ones you seem to be going for are out of the budget…that is a fact. If your school says that dresses cannot be any shorter than mid-thigh…that is a fact.
Opinions are just that. Facts are facts.
Obey your body, is my next piece of advice.
Be super realistic, but not overly judgmental about your body. The former will guide you to choose the best colour range, style and length for your body type. The latter will create stress and shut down your sense of reasoning…preventing you from making good decisions and observing the FACTS about what you need.
Think carefully about clothing styles and colours that you have worn in the past that people have commented sincerely on in a positive way. Use this, along with your own innate sense of style as a starting point to working out what kind of dress to look for.
Note down your findings, build up reference pictures of dresses of the internet and out of magazines…keep an open mind!
Armed with your own arsenal of info, you are now perfectly guided to work closely with the designer or shop assistant to find the dress for you!
We’ll tackle this in my next excerpt.
Happy style hunting!
Tatum xxx
Ekho Couture 